true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
