we're blogging at a bar
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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