i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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