Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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