Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize