oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
