the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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