just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
