And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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