There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
