brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
A+ Viking dick
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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