Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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