He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
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The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm just crazy horny about you
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she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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