and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
