So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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