THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
