Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
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his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
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I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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