Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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