I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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