they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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