I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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