You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
