I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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