she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
her vagine was all disorganized.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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