we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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