I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
