Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?

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(540): View more from Virginia

i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?

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(516): View more from New York

we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class

(914): View more from New York

isnt today saturday?

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(315): View more from New York

I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.

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(607): View more from New York

I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!

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(630): View more from Illinois

His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday

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(563): View more from Iowa

Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!

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