Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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