nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
