Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
