Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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