let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She announced her abortion via fbk
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
