shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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