bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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