I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
