who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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