I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just tell him i said nine months
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?