get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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