I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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