I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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