sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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