I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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