we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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