I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
