I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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