she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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