I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
