oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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