Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
