Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
