i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize