i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
