I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
