Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
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