my soul wont recognize me after tonight
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
