Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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