i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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