my room smells like sperm. sweet.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
