Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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