so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
