For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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