I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
