Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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