Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
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whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
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So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize