y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
