i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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