goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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