Kiss
Puke
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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