My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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