Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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